how to embrace chaos
three ways to move forward when anxiety says no
a few weeks ago i told a friend of mine that i wasn’t looking forward to the chaos that i knew january was going to be for me. i’m moving out, selling all my furniture, packing my things, and moving across the country from a city that i love. knowing myself and my anxiety i just knew that this month was going to have my stomach in a knot. then my friend said, “you might just have to embrace the chaos”.
not sure why that had such an impact on me but i realized, yeah i do just have to embrace it. there’s literally nothing i can do about it, so i might as well go with the flow. a lot of this has manifested as compromising on some of my regular habits such as cooking most of my meals at home and having quiet evenings to myself.
there is something in my acceptance of it all that has allowed me to just be ok with the fact that i can have everything the way i want it to be this month. here’s how i’ve approached this:
one constant: i have one part of my day that i am able to give myself consistency in - my morning routine. i just decided that i had to prioritize and focus on one thing, especially something that i know will help me start my day right and set the pace.
realistic goals: i am not pushing myself to reach unrealistic standards because i know i would be hard on myself when i don’t succeed in whatever it is. when i sat down to make goals for myself this month, i kept them low-effort & schedule-able. my only goal for this month is finance-related (put money into savings) and requires a few clicks of a button every time i get a paycheck. i was able to schedule to-dos for the actions ahead of time in order to keep it low-stakes and provide a guarantee that i wouldn’t forget.
accepting change: i’m not usually the type to enjoy an evening workout, i usually prefer a mid-day situation, but i’ve had to accept that going to F45 in the evenings is my best bet for managing a schedule in a time of high anxiety for myself. recognizing that my anxiety levels are higher than usual this month has allowed me to realize that an uninterrupted workday will have me feeling calmer than a mid-day workout break.
i’ve known that i was going to be moving out this month (january 2023) for eight months now, but it never seems like it’s actually going to come. if i’m honest, i am happy with how i am dealing with embracing the chaos but that doesn’t mean i don’t have down days. i cried for a few hours straight last week when realizing my roommate was moving out, i botched a couch sale because i wasn’t ready to part with my furniture, sometimes i feel so sick with anxiety that all i can do is lie down. i can’t avoid these things entirely, that’s part of who i am. but i can manage it all and face it head-on in the meantime.
by the way… speaking of chaos you may have noticed the afterglow has a new look! i’ve been working with my talented friend beth to create something that i felt was more aligned to me :) i hope you like it and find comfort in it the way i do.
☕️ breakfast
🥗 lunches
🍲 dinners
🫐 snacks
if you want to keep in touch with me you can find me on tiktok, youtube, pinterest & spotify.
i would like to acknowledge that the afterglow newsletter is written & produced on the traditional, ancestral and unceded territory of the Coast Salish peoples–Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), Stó:lō and Səl̓ílwətaʔ/Selilwitulh (Tsleil-Waututh) and xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam) Nations.
recent editions → a healthy romanticization, overcoming new year anxiety, the quarterly reset program
how to roughly organize your life → routines, budgets, careers, space, priorities
productivity → how to reframe a ‘bad’ day, planning vs action, how to focus, how to set yourself up for success the night before
fitness → recharging from your workouts, i’m officially done 75 hard, halfway through 75 hard
recipes & food → afterglow eats, my favourite taco salad bowl, avo sunny-side up eggs on green